Christmas 2016
by steepedinshadows419
Summary: 3x09 - With Christmas just around the corner, present threats become more menacing than ever. Will Barry be able to overcome his anxieties at least for the holiday or will it destroy what happiness he already has? (My interpretation of what could happen during the episode. Mostly westallen-centric.) Three-part.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** My interpretation of what could happen during the episode. Mostly was supposed to be a one-shot, but it just kept going. Miraculously, I was able to write all three chaps in one night. FIVE HOURS it took. I hope it was worth it. lol.

 ***** Many thanks to my lovely beta, **sendtherain** , for getting every chap beta'd within an hour after I sent it to her. She is truly the best.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

...

 _"I love you, Barry."_

Barry closed his eyes, cringing at words he never thought he would, because his reaction to them had been worse than Iris flat out saying nothing when he recited them to her two years prior.

Everything had been good between him and Iris, between him and the Team, between him and everyone, ever since coming back from defeating the Dominators. It finally felt like they were all moving in sync again, no one shooting glares at each other or slinking off to somewhere private because they couldn't stand to be in the same room with that person any longer than was necessary.

But that had all changed in the last couple days. Not significantly, but Cisco had started to distance himself a little with Christmas just around the bend. Barry couldn't connect the dots until an annoyed Caitlin did it for him.

 _"It's his first Christmas without Dante, Barry,"_ she'd said, followed by a look that chilled him and made him quickly glance down to see if her metahuman power-suppressing cuffs were still firmly wrapped around her wrists.

With Cisco shutting himself off little by little, Caitlin held an impromptu meeting with the team announcing that the two of them would be spending Christmas at her place while everyone else congregated at the West house. Cisco had been absent from this meeting, but he seemed to go with the flow as if he'd been there.

Barry tried not to think about this too much. After all the progress he and Cisco had made in mending their broken relationship in recent months, it hurt to think that had been all for nothing.

"It wasn't for nothing," Iris told him, coming up beside him after Caitlin had ended the meeting.

"No, I know," he nodded like he knew.

"Caitlin is his best friend," she continued, knowing he needed further reassurance. "She is the best possible person he could be spending Christmas with. At least this way you know he won't be alone."

 _That helps a little_ , he admitted to himself whenever he saw Caitlin and Cisco together after that. The voice inside his head that said _I thought I was their best friend too_ wasn't as loud as before.

But his relationship with Cisco was only one aspect of the Christmas season that was making this year particularly hard to bear. He had also stumbled in on Wally training with HR, which had not only hurt but upset him to a degree he didn't expect. He'd blown up and then walked out, unable to deal with another complicated relationship when there was something much more pressing and forever present on his mind.

The threat of Savitar, and by default Alchemy, hung over his head more as the days went on. What better way, what better time, to act out more violently than ever before than when everyone was relaxing into the holiday season?

To make matters worse, his worry and constant stress over the threat they posed dampened every moment he had with the people he loved, _especially_ Iris.

This escalated with such severity that those around him were disappointed every time he left the room and every time he entered it. He always found a reason to leave, and they all seemed convinced he didn't need to.

" _Not today, Barry. Not while we're trying to find some normalcy at this time of year_."

 _What better time for Savitar to strike?_ He'd wanted to shout back in desperation. But he hadn't. Instead he'd just left, spending hours at STAR Labs alone searching for a solution.

For her part, Iris seemed to be the only one not ready to lash out at him given the opportunity. He knew now though that she had to feel differently. Because the last time they'd seen each other she had told him she loved him – her first time as far as she knew – and he hadn't verbalized any sort of immediate response. She'd looked at him with concern and he'd gotten up, apologized hastily without meeting her eyes and left.

Of all the times for him to get distracted by something that wasn't Iris, this had to be the worst. He'd dreamed of this moment ever since he returned from Flashpoint. The fact that he was the one to ruin it absolutely _crushed_ him.

The problem was he'd been having visions. Savitar had been calling to him at inopportune moments throughout the day. Sometimes it was barely a whisper. Sometimes it was louder. And sometimes visions appeared before him so vividly that it was reminiscent of his memories bursting in and out while in Flashpoint.

Only _these_ visions he remembered. They were broken into pieces, often not very clear or put together. But at the very moment Iris told him she loved him, all that affection and hope brimming in her eyes, the pieces that had been so precariously thrown at him were put into place. They still jumbled around a little, but Savitar's booming voice that only he could hear became so unbearably painful that he'd needed to leave. He raced away from Iris to some other part of the city and then stopped. Before him the vision unveiled itself as if it was actually happening, as if wasn't a hallucination at all.

"I know your fears," he heard Savitar say, as the vision portrayed him coming between a future version of himself and Iris. In the vision, it looked like Savitar killed or at least severely wounded her and a powerless Barry raced – too slowly – to an unconscious Iris. Helplessly, he cradled her in his arms while Savitar disappeared.

"I know your weaknesses," the voice dissipated, leaving present Barry shaken, hardly able to stand. He blinked once to clear the tears welling up in his eyes and it was as if the vision had never been there to begin with.

Central City was quiet again. There was no threat before him and Iris was safe where he'd left her, wondering why he'd acted so strangely to her confession of love and probably worrying that she shouldn't have told him what was in her heart.

But Barry couldn't think about that. The only thing racing through his mind was the future Savitar had shown him. A future without Iris in it. A future without purpose. A future that would destroy him as surely as it would destroy everyone else and then some. He would not rest until he found a way to change it, to prevent the death of the one person who without fail gave his life purpose and had since the very beginning.

He went to STAR Labs and inspected the newspaper one last time. He wanted it to be a dream, for this all to be a nightmare he would wake up to any second. But her name was still absent from the byline. He asked Gideon to search all future newspapers for a mention of Iris West or Iris West Allen beginning in 2017, but there was nothing.

Pale and afraid of fainting on the spot, Barry slunk down against the wall and sat still until he could feel his heart resuming back to normal, until his breathing wasn't so fast.

"I have to stop this," he mumbled, sweat increasing on his forehead. "I have to…" His voice hitched. "I have to keep this from happening."

 _Jay Garrick._

The name clicked in his brain, and Barry knew what he had to do. Caitlin had been leaving STAR Labs, about to head home to start making things ready for Cisco. She was the only one left in the building, since it was Christmas Eve and everyone else was congregating at Joe's.

"Barry," she said, her eyes shut momentarily as paper flew around her when he speedily appeared in front of her work station.

"I need you to do something for me," he told her. As expected, she looked at him warily but he knew she'd comply. Because he didn't want to bother Cisco with this and because, at least when she wasn't Killer Frost, she could keep a secret.

So she found the stash of interdimensional extrapolators Cisco had been making and gestured to the pile, looking pointedly at Barry before she left.

"I handed you nothing. I told you nothing. I revealed no classified information. I simply showed you a part of Cisco's workshop you may or may not have seen before."

Barry fought a smile and nodded. "Understood."

"Merry Christmas, Barry," she said, watching him with hawk eyes before she turned to leave.

"Merry Christmas, Caitlin." He grinned when she was gone and then picked one of the devices up. "Okay, Jay." He took a deep breath. "Let's see if you can help me."

...

 **A/N:** I won't be going into what all happens between Barry  & Jay too much. Almost everything except Barry & Iris interactions are told just as brief mentions/recaps.


	2. Chapter 2

***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

...

The trip to Earth 3 led to Jay Garrick returning with Barry and helping to fight Savitar before offering some wise words that left Barry feeling oddly unsure of what the future held, though surprisingly not in the solely negative way he'd felt before. They hadn't defeated Savitar, but they'd put up a hell of a fight, and Jay guaranteed he would fight just as tirelessly to find the answers to their villainous dilemma as Barry would here on Earth 1.

"In the meantime," Jay had suggested with a pointed look. "Try to live in the present, not whatever future Savitar has shown to you. If you spend all your time worrying about what will happen, you'll miss out on what's happening right now."

As Barry had come to expect, Jay's words hit home. When his speedster friend returned to his Earth, Barry made a pit stop at Cisco's empty apartment to shower. He prayed to whatever God was out there that Iris would forgive him for the lousy way he'd handled what should have been a monumental, very special moment between them.

A festive Christmas sweater and a million apologies in hand, Barry walked into the West house at just before 10 p.m. and apologized for his tardiness. His didn't ask where Iris was at first because he didn't want to make it plain how badly he'd screwed up with her, even though he suspected they all had an idea. She had to be affected by how absent and distracted he'd been of late.

"She's upstairs, Bear," Joe whispered to him sometime later.

Barry's brows furrowed. "Upstairs?" Joe nodded in response. "Why?"

"Her room," Joe said. Then after a beat said, "Wally's now," in case Barry needed the reminder.

"Wh—"

"Go."

And Barry went.

A quiet knock on the doorframe, Barry walked in through the half-open doorway when Iris turned to look at him.

"Hey," he said, broaching the silence.

"Hey," she whispered, no malice in her eyes, just some surprise. "I wasn't sure you'd show." He sighed and nodded, closing the distance between them. "Or if you'd stay."

"I deserve that," he said, then met her eyes. "I'm sorry, Iris."

She looked at him contemplatively before her defenses went up and a touch of ire flashed in her eyes.

"I'd say that's a start, but you've been saying it an awful lot lately, and I'm not sure if I believe you."

He sighed. "I also deserve that." He swallowed and looked away momentarily, scanning the room without looking at anything. "If I tell you why I've been so…flighty recently…will you believe me then?" He chanced a glance into her deep, dark eyes that were studying him so intently, wanting to give him a chance but hesitant to do so.

"I told you I loved you, Barry," she said quietly. "And you ran away."

He nodded, avoiding her gaze. "I know."

"That was valid two years ago, but not so much this time, since I'm pretty sure you feel the same way. At least, I'm hoping you do."

His head snapped up and his eyes locked on hers, his hands firmly clasped around her wrists.

"I do. I definitely do. Just please…let me explain."

After a beat, she nodded. "Alright, Barry. Tell me what's been going on with you."

"Okay…"

He swallowed and stepped away, wrapping his arm around the back of his head and starting to pace as he always did when he was nervous or when something very significant was about to be said, something huge.

Then he stopped and looked at her.

"Do you remember…when Eddie told you that the Reverse Flash said you and I were destined to get married? That he saw a future newspaper with your name on the byline of a…" he hesitated, in case she didn't know the details. "Major story in 2024?"

She nodded, and he was relieved – (1) because she hadn't panicked that this was maybe a marriage proposal, and (2) that at least her memory of that hadn't changed. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if it had, but a weight lifted off of him every time he learned something has remained the same in the new timeline.

"Well…" He took a breath. "Your name isn't on the byline anymore."

Her brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said, coming towards her again. "Ever since I got back from Flashpoint I've periodically checked that newspaper, since we have it at STAR Labs, and you name is not on the byline anymore. I've asked Gideon – I've searched," he clarified when Iris's brows furrowed in confusion, "for any future reference of Iris West or Iris West-Allen after 2016, and at least in any newspaper, there's no mention of you anywhere."

Her eyes widened and she swallowed hard.

"So, you think that means…"

"I've been having visions, Iris."

"Barry," she whispered. He couldn't tell if her tone was accusatory or scared.

"Remember how I was having nightmares of Zoom killing Patty last year?" Iris made no move to respond. "Savitar has been calling to me. This last time – today – was especially bad. He showed me…well, he…"

"My death," Iris finished, hardly daring to breathe. "He showed you how he kills me."

Barry's eyes watered. He hadn't even been able to say the words out loud to himself. Hearing Iris say them pushed him to the brink.

"That's why you left," she concluded. "Right after I…"

"Yeah." He swallowed. "His voice was so loud in my head, Iris. It hurt. I had to—"

"But you weren't in pain," she said, confused. "At least you didn't look like it. You were fidgety, distracted, but you didn't look like Wally did when Alchemy was calling to him."

"I could feel it coming on," he said. "I could feel it getting worse. It hurt a lot, Iris, but it hurt less the closer I got to leaving. Maybe I just…hide it better. I don't know."

"Or maybe I was so consumed with my own feelings that I was unaware of how you were acting."

"Iris, no. I probably wasn't…I don't know. I can't explain it. Maybe my heart hurt more than my mind did. Maybe I knew what was coming because I'd been getting hints of it for the past week."

Her eyes widened further. "The past week? And you didn't tell me? You didn't tell any of us?"

"I was hoping it'd go away!" he sighed. "I wanted it to go away. If I just resisted…"

"Like Wally did?" She spat. "Or Frankie?" His helpless look made her relent. "I'm sorry. I just thought you'd be honest with me, especially after what happened with you becoming the Flash."

He nodded. "I know. I should have. But…I really think it was different. I didn't have different powers in Flashpoint. In fact, I was losing my powers the longer I stayed there."

"Do you think that means—"

"No. I don't think I'm going to lose my powers here. At least I hope not." He started to pace again, running his fingers frustratingly through his hair. "I don't know what's going to happen." He turned and looked at her. "All I know is that you die at his hands, and I'm not fast enough to stop it."

Iris looked away from him, trying to gather her thoughts. She knew it was okay to be afraid, that she didn't have to always be the one reassuring everyone else. But right now she had to find the strength to, because Barry was panicking. When he was unstable, the whole world was in trouble.

"In your vision," she said.

"Yes."

She lifted her head and met his eyes.

"Where have you been the last few hours?" she asked.

"I… I went to get Jay."

Her brows furrowed, this time with more anger than confusion.

"For what?"

He sighed. "I was hoping he could shed some light on how to defeat Savitar." Iris waited. "We fought him," he finally said.

"Barry." He held his breath. "Without me? Without all of us? You fought him alone?" Barry opened his mouth to speak but she waved him off. "No, I know, with Jay. But with no one else, no back up, no help over the com."

He tensed as she closed the distance between them, not knowing what she'd do next, but deciding that if it was a slap, he deserved that too.

Unexpectedly though, she hugged him. Tightly. Fiercely. And he hugged her back, burying his face in her hair, breathing her in like oxygen.

"What if something had happened to you?" Her voice hitched. "We'd all just be at our Christmas parties, and you…" She started to pull away and he brushed away the tears making their way down her cheeks. "That is no way to spend Christmas Eve, Barry Allen."

He looked down at her adoringly, wanting to make her pain go away.

"I know. I'm sorry." He winced, remembering his apologies were meaningless to her now. "I mean—"

"No, it's okay. God, it's so okay." She looked up at him, cupped his face tightly in her hands and pulled his head down so she could kiss him, hard. She breathed in deep when they parted and wouldn't look away. "If I'm destined to die in the future at the hands of Savitar, you cannot do it until then, understood?"

"Iris—"

"Bartholomew?" Her nails started to dig into his skin.

He winced and nodded. "Yeah. Understood."

She released him, her hands traveling down his neck, shoulders and arms.

"Besides," she told him after their fingers intertwined. "It's not going to happen."

His brows furrowed. "I'm not going to die, Barry, especially not by that thing. You're going to save me. I'm going to live."

His face was so pained he couldn't bring himself to respond.

"I'm betting Jay gave you some very good advice before he left, right?"

Surprisingly, a laugh tinged with oncoming tears slipped out.

"Yeah, he did. He told me to, uh…live in the present."

A tiny, shaky smile started to form on her face.

"Then that's exactly what you're going to do, Barry Allen. Because I love you, and—"

"I love you, too," he said earnestly, because it was long overdue, especially in the midst of this heated conversation. "I always have, Iris, and I always will. No matter what."

Her eyes glistened. Her smile didn't fade.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I—"

"You're telling me now," she whispered, placing one gentle kiss on his lips.

He sighed into her mouth, a murmur of "Iris," floating out from deep in his throat, and wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't need a future newspaper to tell me I'm going to be with you ten years from now."

Their foreheads pressed against each other, he opened his eyes and held his breath, so very aware of the gravity of what she was saying.

They'd been cautious from the beginning when it came to defining what they were or discussing the fact that they were destined to be married. But now…well, she hadn't explicitly said marriage, but she'd defined future – long-term.

"Iris," he murmured again, because her name was music to his ears and sometimes the only sane thing keeping him grounded.

"Do you believe in us, Barry? Do you believe we'll make it?"

He sighed and nodded against her, sinking his fingers into his hair. He had more than enough proof that as far as the two of them went, nothing but death could tear them apart.

"Yes," he answered, because he did, because they had to.

"Then have Christmas with me." She started to smile, tears still glistening. "With all of us." She pulled back and looked into his loving eyes. "Before they come looking for us."

He grinned and took her hand, intertwining their fingers and leading her to the doorway.

"There's mistletoe hanging somewhere downstairs, right?"

A giggle bubbled out of her.

"If there isn't, I'm sure there will be some before the night is up. Not that you need an excuse to kiss me." Her eyes sparkled when she looked at him.

He was so far gone, so enraptured in her. Tonight he could believe anything was possible, anything good.

"It's festive, Iris. And it's tradition."

"Tradition?" She raised her eyebrows, because it'd never been their tradition before.

"Starting this year," he told her and she smiled the most brilliant smile for him.

"Okay, Barry Allen, Christmas 2016 is when our life begins."

"Something's changed with Iris. Something's changed with our future."

The words echoed in his mind, his voice tormented by what he'd done. But the burden he felt then lifted now until it was almost nonexistent.

Maybe it hasn't, he thought, descending the staircase with her and their friends and family waiting for them below. Maybe the joys of the present and the fight for the future would save it.


	3. Epilogue

**A/N:** Just another reminder that this chapter contains M-rated material.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

...

The next day Barry waited, his palms sweaty, his body hot, and his mind racing. He'd been thinking about this a lot, about how to move forward with Iris, and about when exactly he'd get around to getting his own place. That morning he got the call that he'd not only landed the job he'd applied for last week, but also confirmation on the lease for the apartment he was standing in now. All he had to do was sign the papers and the place was is.

So, he'd done that. An hour ago. And then he'd told Iris to meet him.

Of course he had also conspicuously left her after Christmas breakfast with Joe and Wally, leaving no explanation but promising to provide one later. It had become a habit in the last week. He hoped neither she nor the Wests would hold it against him. He didn't want to have to make another argument for himself, since this time his reasons were totally justified.

He wanted it to be a surprise.

The knock on the door made him jump a little, but he managed to pull himself together enough to make it to the door and look out the peephole.

Iris.

 _Of course, it's Iris. Who else could it be, Allen? No one else knows you live here._

Rolling his eyes at himself, he pushed aside his nerves and opened the door. There was no backing out now.

"Hey." She smiled at him, a happy light dancing in her eyes.

"Hey." He smiled just as widely, then looked down at her ensemble as he opened the door wider for her to come in. "Wow, you look _amazing_."

"Thanks." Her smile stretched over her face, but then it fell and her jaw dropped as she took in the empty space around her. She stopped and turned to look at Barry, awkwardly still standing near the now closed door.

"Is this…?"

"Mhmm." He nodded, a beaming smile starting to form. "I just signed the contract this morning. It's all mine."

"Barry!" She squealed, jumping into his arms. "This is amazing. Your own place. Finally." She laughed.

Her smile was contagious.

"Yep, and uh...oh!" he exclaimed – as if he'd forgotten, which he hadn't. "Here." He pulled a box out from the inside of his jacket. "This is for you."

She looked down at the long, velvet box, back at him, and then took it from his hands.

"I didn't give you a Christmas present last night, so I thought I'd give it to you today, since it is technically still Christmas."

Slowly she opened the box and then stood staring at the item inside.

"I know it's cheesy," he admitted. "And even worse that I'm not your first boyfriend who has done this, on this holiday too no less, but I just thought…after last night, it just felt so…fitting."

Very carefully, Iris lifted the key on a chain out of the box, smiling tentatively when she saw the lightning bolt indentation glinting in the center of the head of it.

"I love—"

"Say somethi—"

Barry blushed and cleared his throat. "You do?"

She nodded, handed him the necklace and turned around pulling her hair to one side so he could put it on. When she turned back around, she was beaming.

"I'm with you now," she said, draping her arms around his neck. "You couldn't have made this day any more special."

She leaned forward to kiss him and he obligingly closed the distance, tasting cinnamon and cider on her lips.

"You taste good," he mumbled. He could feel her smile against him.

"You taste good, too," she told him. "You taste like Barry Allen, and Barry Allen is my _favorite_ flavor."

He pulled back a moment, his eyes glinting at her playfully.

"Yeah?" he asked.

" _Oh, yeah_."

She pulled him back for another kiss and he put all his energy and attention into pleasing her, until she was intoxicated by his touch and the way his tongue moved inside her mouth, dancing with her own. Further emboldened when she moaned into him, he pushed the fur wrap off her shoulders, an erotic thrill rushing through him when he heard it drop to the floor. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

Iris felt her heart start to race. This was the moment. This was the time. It was perfect. It was what she'd been waiting for a long time, she realized, and that made her a little nervous, no matter how delicious Barry's touch was.

And it _was_ delicious, extremely so. It made her feel hot all over. It made her want to kiss him everywhere, want him to kiss her. It made her want—

"Are you nervous, Bear?" she asked, taking a breath from indulging herself in the taste of her boyfriend's mouth long enough to realize he wasn't quite so far gone as she was.

All she got in response was the sound of his shallow breathing. _Maybe he was more out of it than she thought_.

"Bear?" she asked again, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes.

But his eyes weren't looking into hers. They were staring, half-closed, at some absent space between them, as if he needed all the energy he could muster in just trying to breathe.

It was then she realized his stance compared to hers. It was a little tense, just a little bit awkward, his hold on her just a little too loose. It surprised her, given their recent love confessions and celebratory mood in light of making his apartment theirs.

She raised her hand to his face and languidly ran her fingers through his hair to soothe him. When he still didn't look at her, she grazed her knuckles down his cheek and lifted his jaw, so he would have to look at her.

"I've waited a lifetime for this," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion.

All the teasing remarks tucked in the back of her mind, even the best one about this being his first time with any woman, were forgotten in the face of the intensity in his eyes. The nerves that had clearly begun to consume him were making a rapid trip over to her as sweat prickled down her spine.

"Me too," she said, surprising herself with the admission. It was the truth though, she realized, and that startled her. "All my life," she murmured, nuzzling her face against his, their foreheads brushing in the intimate moment.

Barry angled his head and kissed her again. Shivers of a different kind erupted over Iris as she felt his finger find the zipper on the back of his dress and begin to lower it. The sound of it was an aphrodisiac, and it electrified all of her senses.

" _Barry_ ," she gasped when she felt his hands on her skin. When she looked into his eyes this time, she saw the intensity of his love had doubled with heat. It washed over her in waves of desire.

"Are you going to take off my jacket?" he asked, a hint of smugness sneaking into his voice. "Or am I going to have to do all the undressing tonight?"

 _Smooth Barry was **back**_.

Her eyes glittered in anticipation and delight. She slipped her hands into the collar of his jacket and pushed the garment off his shoulders until it fell into a heap on the floor. Her fingers clenched on his shoulders and he watched the movement, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Immersed in the feel of him, her hands traveling across his arms and down his chest, Iris didn't even see the kiss coming. He devoured her lips as fully, as completely, as passionately, as she thought she'd been devouring his at the beginning. But this was so much more.

This made it hard for _her_ to breathe.

"C'mon," he whispered, breaking away to lead her down the hall.

"A tour already?" she managed.

He looked back at her and gave her a devilish grin that melted her insides.

"A partial one," he said and turned inside a room with a queen-sized bed decorated with rose petals and surrounded by scattered lit candles.

Iris could barely catch her breath.

"Oh, my God. _Barry_."

When she turned to look at him, he was all heart eyes and the romantic she'd always known him to be.

"You like it?" he asked sheepishly.

It was amazing, she thought, how quickly he could revert to the shy bumbling nerd she loved when he so confidently excelled at the suave seducer she never wanted to be away from.

"You know I do," she informed him, and his smug grin was back.

He took her hand and led her further into the room until they reached the side of the bed.

Iris had a hard time choosing whether to look at the romantic set up or the man who had set it up for her, but when they reached their destination, she had no trouble at all.

"No one's ever done something like this for me before, Barry," she said softly.

"I'm the only one, huh?" he asked, his voice heavy with longing and desire.

She nodded, switching to the playful tone she sensed he wanted.

"I don't know how you're going to outdo yourself next year."

His eyes filled with stars. _Next year_.

"How about we enjoy this year? I have 365 days to figure out the next one."

She smirked than pulled him close, whispering just before she kissed him, "Deal."

The next hour washed over them in a wave of emotion they knew would never be replicated.

Iris unbuttoned his shirt one by one and then, achingly slow, pushed the garment from him. She sat down on the bed and unbuckled his belt, shivers erupting over her body from the sound of it, and from the sound of the zipper that she pulled down. She felt the heat of his eyes on her the whole time, but she could never have prepared herself for the intensity of his gaze.

He pulled her to her feet and kissed her, paying no attention to his pants falling to the floor. After many heated kisses, he gently laid her back on the bed and rid himself of his socks and shoes, kicking the items away from the bed.

One knee on the bed, Iris watching him with dark, lidded eyes, Barry kissed the inside of one ankle and unstrapped one of her heels. He followed suit with the other and moved up her body, kissing every bit of skin along the way.

His kisses were exquisitely slow, lingering on her torso and just beneath the cups of her bra.

"Take it off," she pleaded in a heated whisper.

He looked up at her, breathing heavily.

Iris opened her eyes and looked at him. She saw pure, unadulterated lust in his eyes, but she also saw love and nerves. Some steps were more significant, more life-altering than others.

She sat up enough to reach the latch on the back of her bra and unhooked it, tossing it across the room without looking away from her boyfriend. She saw him swallow hard and gloried in that reaction. But she didn't want him to be stuck in limbo, so she pulled him to her, laid back down and arched her back, offering herself to him.

He hesitated a moment more and then gave himself over to the sensations, to the touch and feel of her.

His fingers brushed the soft, gentle curves of her breasts and then he tenderly kissed each peak. Iris's nails digging into his shoulders urged him further and he sucked on her skin, alternating between licks and nibbles and lingering kisses.

"Oh, _Barry_ ," she whimpered repeatedly.

She moaned and clawed at him and intertwined their limbs together. Her toes dug into the waistband of his boxers and pushed them off of his body. In response, Barry traveled down her body again and pulled the last piece of clothing on her down her legs and to the floor.

"I didn't realize you were so—" She tried, but the playful flirting attempt ended as soon as he came back to her, wrapping a condom onto his cock and then looking at her with more heat than she deemed him possible of emitting.

"Bar—" Her voice was lost again. If he was nervous, he was very good at not showing it. She felt like she was at the mercy of a seducer who knew exactly how to touch her without being told, a professional in the trade with eyes only for her.

He hovered over her, waiting for the moment when it would click, when they would both realize this was _real_. He moved to part her legs and then rested his forehead on hers instead.

"If you're nervous, I can't be nervous," he murmured against her lips.

The boy she loved and the man who made her weak in the knees, they were both right here in front of her sharing one body, merged into one soul.

"I love you, Barry," she said.

He opened in his eyes to look into hers and nodded in response.

"I love you, too, Iris. Since the day that I met you. Forever, always, no matter what the future brings. Whatever comes next, I love you."

His words wrapped around her, creating a warm blanket that left her feeling so very loved, and complemented the physical desire she had for him more than anything else could have.

Barry's hands slid down her body, slowly, smoothly, softly. He parted her legs and made a place for himself. With one thrust, he was inside her and they were gasping each other's name with a whispered breath. The happy, desirous sigh that escaped both of them was only the beginning of a heart-pounding, heart-racing pleasure beyond imagination that brought them back to the place they loved most, the place they would stay forever if time would let them.

"Only two people in the world," Barry whispered, collapsing on top of her and only moving to the side when her grip on him loosened several minutes later.

Iris turned her head to look at him, words gone from her mind, but love pouring from her heart. With shaky fingers she drew lines around his face and smiled when he captured her hand in his own and kissed it.

"Can every day be like this, Barry?" she asked, not caring if his answer was truthful or not.

"Yes," he said, because in this moment love blinded him to any threat or responsibility. Nothing existed out of this room. "As long as you're with me, every day I live will be like this one."

"I'm with you, Barry," she said on a soft smile. "I will _always_ be with you."

Barry blocked out any worries or echoes of Savitar's laughter or flashes of the vision that tried to enter his mind. When Iris moved towards him, he cuddled her close and pleasured in being near her. Wrapped up in her warmth, in her scent, in who she was, he couldn't imagine a safer place or a Heaven beyond this one.

This Christmas was a promise. He would fight to keep moments like these. He would live in the present and give everything he could so the future brimming before him would feel like this moment every year. Forever.

His hopes and dreams and confidence in tomorrow lived on the melody of her name, more true and more destined than any newspaper could proclaim.

 _Iris West-Allen_.

...

 **A/N:** I hope you enjoyed my story! Happy reviews are love! 3

And yes, if you follow me on tumblr, and you thought you had read something in here before, you did. The drabble I wrote for inksmudge titled, _Breathless_ , was integrated into this chapter.


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